Jumping through that curtain and earning the title handsome monkey king was just the start of my journey. After taking over that place the monkeys and I lived a very happy life and that went on for several hundred years until it hit me one day, no one ever lives a happy life without some struggle. I was living a fantasy, who else has happy meetings on fairy mountains in beautiful caves and holy islands? not many, let me just say that.
I knew that soon there would be a great end to the freedom we had, and not only that but I remembered that I am a living creature meaning I Shall die one day. This thought crossed my mind and tears began flowing down my face. I couldn’t believe it, the monkeys of course reflected all my feelings, as I began crying they did too.
Another thought crossed my mind, this time not so sad, I had remembered that there are three creatures that yama king of death has nothing on, buddha’s, immortals, and sages. That moment I decided that I shall do all I can to become immortal. I told the monkeys that the next day I would be starting my journey to becoming young forever.
The next day came around and I woke up to a beautiful feast, all the monkeys woke up before me and had gathered peaches, rare fruits, and other goods. After enjoying that amazing food, I got on the raft they had built me and watched them wave goodbye as I pushed off and began my journey. A strong wind carried me until I arrived to the southern world. I arrived ashore and on the beach when I can down I saw humans fishing and shooting wild geese, you know stuff humans do.
It had been a while since I had a good laugh so I started mocking the people. I wasn’t planning on doing anything else until I noticed one man who thought he was tougher than me and did not run away like the others, so I decide to rip off his clothes and put them on – he was a tiny man- and walked down the streets mocking all the humans. That was the only fun id be having for the next several years. I searched and searched from city to city for 8 years for the immortal who would be the one to teach me this way of living. Sure enough after arriving to a beautiful land i saw a beautiful mountain and being my courageous self I had to climb it no matter how many wolves tigers or even panthers that would be in my way.
I knew there were immortals here so I rushed deep in the forest where the voice was coming from and found that this woodman was singing this song he knew about immortality, he was very sweet man he had devoted his life to taking care of his widow mother. He told me where the immortal was because he knew how serious I was about this and all I had gone through. I began looking for the immortal and I finally found the mountain he lived on, instead of knocking the door I climbed up the pine tree and began playing and eating. This fairy boy came out of the cave and told me I was disturbing them, I told him I was there to learn immortality and he just laughed. I followed the boy in and met the master, I remember at first the master did not want to even speak to me but then I mentioned that I had floated over the oceans for years for the sake of immortality. He named me “Aware of vacuity”, which now that I think of is a very offensive name. Anyways that’s how I got my third name and keep on reading my diaries to find out about my personal favorite.
You did a good job using language similar to the book, and the balance of both actions and thoughts makes it look like a real diary/blog entry!
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Good job overall, but some of the grammar could be improved, and I feel like Monkey’s personality wasn’t fully captured (he’s more cocky, careless)
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Your so beautiful just like your blog. Its very intresting I can see how you understant the topic!!!
Stay strooong sista
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I love how you captured Monkey’s personality! Good job!
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How do we move forward from here? How can they use your comment to get better?
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